Oversight

Because let's face it - the Role-Playing aspect didn't exactly take off

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Demyra
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Oversight

#1 Post by Demyra » Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:25 am

When I'm alone, there is no light shone,
the stars will fall leaving the sky black, and me on my own.
When I reflect, on the ways I protect,
I grow tired of being locked in my mind in an abstract circumspect.

I've lost all my value, and I've lost all my hope,
born into unfit circumstances, I struggle to scope.
And I'm frozen in a moment drifting through space,
limited by the unyielding time of this rat race.

I do not feel attached to this culture,
and I do not care for these lives.
I mourn the loss of absence, and closure
seems to be the only thing for me that drives.

It seems we live to be remembered by those who live to be remembered.
There is a cataclysmic error when our reason has been dismembered,
and meaning becomes defficit when we mean for those without meaning.
I search blindly for purpose-hoping I can find thoughts intervening-
dreaming of meaning and crushed by the thought of my life in vain,
the misery my philosophical psychology induces keeps me just barely sane.

I do not feel attached to this culture,
and I do not care for these lives.
I mourn the loss of absence, and closure
seems to be the only thing for me that drives.

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v4lor
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#2 Post by v4lor » Tue Mar 02, 2010 7:00 pm

I like it a lot. Though, I do think you need a hug. :P

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Demyra
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#3 Post by Demyra » Wed Mar 03, 2010 6:34 am

Glad you like it-and is that an offer? :o

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Lady K
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#4 Post by Lady K » Thu Mar 04, 2010 7:18 am

Rhythmically speaking, the fourth stanza seems out of place. It doesn't flow well with the rest of the poem/lyrics. And yeah, you need a hug. ^.^;;
And now I have to pay the price to go on living.

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v4lor
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#5 Post by v4lor » Fri Mar 05, 2010 8:25 pm

Demyra wrote:Glad you like it-and is that an offer? :o
Sure, but don't go for the reach around, cuz v4lor don't swing that way!

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Demyra
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#6 Post by Demyra » Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:49 pm

You don't have to, I'll do all the work. <3
:p

I know it doesn't flow, m'lady-it's an odd habit of mine-as if I'm writing a song I do this...one rhythm breaking verse like a breakdown type thing all the time-in writing I mean it to break and slow you down to focus on the words, but it's a habit a thoroughly need to break...

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Veyron1
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#7 Post by Veyron1 » Fri Jul 09, 2010 5:51 am

AWESOME POEM!
Roll the dice to see, if you get Russian Roulette!

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