Tomorrow

Because let's face it - the Role-Playing aspect didn't exactly take off

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Demyra
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Tomorrow

#1 Post by Demyra » Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:41 am

Tomorrow is indefinite-within view and out of reach,
when the still hands flinch and nature starts to teach,
whispering softly into ears subtle words of passage,
and putting on the best heirs of human visage.

I'll be gone tomorrow-likely by my own hand,
frozen in place, in a day that never came.
Being left behind by today, in time's blistering sand,
frozen in idealistic concepts-sardon's shame.

Confined within a cocoon of question and doubt,
tomorrow will be the day that I'm released.
Purpose is an empty prison when I can't get out,
tomorrow I will live, not contemplate-not be seized...

Tomorrow is the day the sun never shines,
lingering, it never rises above the horizon's lines.
Tomorrow is my philosophy, and my fate,
locked in possibility when hope is my bait.

Jebryath
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#2 Post by Jebryath » Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:47 am

Interesting rhyme scheme trick, opening and closing with identical rhyme schemes but shifting it in the middle. Both verses, of course, also begin with "Tomorrow." Calls attention to them! Makes the last verse break the flow from the second and third verses, which run directly into each other. Cool pacing trick. Meter is inconsistent, but I'm pretty sure you do that because you speed up and slow down naturally while you read.

Nifty poem.

Oh, try not to kill yourself. I SAW THAT.

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Ne
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#3 Post by Ne » Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:21 am

Nice poem!


You got me scared on msn >.>
*_*
>:3

Jebryath
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#4 Post by Jebryath » Thu Aug 12, 2010 9:26 am

I would like to take this moment to congratulate Ne on entering the singularity!

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